Haiku Anime Review

My extremely short FAQ, located on the about page, has been updated with the following:

Q: Why Haiku?

A: Because sonnets are too much trouble. To illustrate, using Kämpfer as an example:

Akane-chan your bullets doth bewitch
My simple brain and bring to me a grin,
The way you fire at your teammate (bitch!)
And swing your heavy pistol at his chin.

How can he be so damn oblivious,
When your charms are so readily counted,
Your feverish desire furious,
Like a race horse ready to be mounted.

Who knows how long it will remain like this,
With him busy staring at his assets,
While you stand there waiting for his lame kiss,
So sad to those who love all your facets.

I only hope that, if I may be crass,
One day you will bust a cap in his ass.

V.S.

Akane, you’re hot,
And you really ought to shoot
That Natsuru kid.

See? Way too much trouble. Plus there’s no SZS-style minimum Japanese cultural standard connection….

From Complete Manuscripts of the Snake Factory Excavation:

My Dearest Hakko¹,

The way your green hair shimmers in the light,
Providing brilliant contrast to those
Fetching cat ears you chose to wear tonight,
You stopped my poor heart when you hit that pose.

Though your voice causes organs to explode,
I can’t help but watch your tail as you walk,
A few seconds more through the electrode,
It’ll be okay if we just don’t talk.

For who wants to hear of your troubled life
In that grungy village, your dirty kid,
Or using your cleavage to prevent strife?
For your cosplay I staked life on this bid.

I guess it’s too bad, I’m already dead,
But that won’t stop you from giving me… lead².